Rubbish At Romance
by Quarter Past Wonderful
Summary: Sirius wants to talk about Remus for a change, and while Remus insists there's nothing to talk about, Sirius isn't so sure. Wolfstar.


**A/N: I already miss writing about Remus and Sirius, now that Clover's done, and I've always loved Madfoot puppy love, so please enjoy this piece of shameless fluff :) Thanks for reading!  
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"Moony?"

Remus looked up lazily from his comfortable squashy armchair at the sound of Sirius's voice and realized with a start that it was deeply dark outside. He must have read away the entire Sunday afternoon. The thought gave him a kind of happiness, and he looked over at Sirius with peaceful eyes, wondering how long Sirius had been sitting across from him in the common room. He realized what Sirius wanted as soon as he looked into his handsome grey eyes, which held a familiar arrogant look that Remus could see through, looking straight into the uncertainty that he found hidden there.

"Oh, alright, Pads. What's it now?"

Sirius leaned forward with a wolfish grin as Remus put down his book with a sigh, trying to judge how late it was by the empty common room. For almost two years now, ever since third year, Sirius had been coming to Remus for love advice. Remus hated hearing Sirius talk about his newest conquest and the problems this current girl brought to him, hated hearing Sirius brag about his latest snog, and most of all, hated how he was able to tell Sirius exactly what to do to fix the problem. But he did it anyways. In the early days Remus had told Sirius bad advice in the hopes that it would cause him to run his relationships to the ground, but eventually he had grown guilty and had started telling Sirius the right things to do, the best ways to fix his problems. Not that it mattered, though, because Sirius still managed to sabotage all of his relationships, breaking up with them because he was bored or wanted to chase another girl or just simply because he was Sirius Black. And despite the fact that every time Sirius talked about his latest girlfriend Remus's heart tore itself into little pieces, he still let Sirius talk.

After all, it wasn't Sirius's fault that Remus was in love with him.

"It's Hannah. I dunno _why_ I'm dating a Ravenclaw anyways, because lately she's been wanting to talk instead of snog. Though she's not really good snogger in the first place, honestly, so maybe I should just break up with her..."

_Imagine that, wanting to talk instead of snog, _thought Remus sarcastically, but he couldn't stop a small smile from flitting onto his face as he watched Sirius talk, watched him carelessly flip his longish hair away from his face endearingly, even as his heart contracted painfully and jealously.

Eventually Sirius trailed off and looked at Remus curiously, giving him an odd look. Remus tried to collect his thoughts and stop daydreaming. "Er," he said, as it was clear that Sirius was waiting for a response.

"I said, what should I do? Don't be such a wanker, Moony. What, have you finally turned into a book or something?"

"Just talk to her," said Remus quickly, trying to recall what Sirius had been complaining about. "If you compromise then you'll make her happy and you'll get all the snogging you want."

"S'bad snogging anyways," mumbled Sirius, crossly. He mumbled something else and then looked away, reddening a little.

Remus just sighed, wondering what on earth his best friend was going off about.

"If that's all," he said politely, standing up and feeling a rush of vertigo, reeling and suddenly drained and annoyed from listening to Sirius talk _again_ about some girl and feeling utterly jealous about it, "then I'm going to bed. We've got classes tomorrow."

Sirius stood up quickly, mimicking Remus's swift movement, and blocked Remus's way, grinning all the while. He forced Remus back into his chair, then sat almost on top of him. "That's _not _all," he said, smirking, "so budge over." Remus's breath caught in his throat at the nearness of Sirius and his heart began to hammer, and suddenly he didn't feel tired at all.

"All right," he sighed, moving over a little. Remus was skinny and they were both able to squish into the armchair, limbs tangling and straying too close for comfort. Remus could heart Sirius's heartbeat, which was beating just as quickly as his own – but no, surely it was just his own heartbeat that he was hearing.

"What d'you want now, Padfoot?" he said, finding it slightly hard to breathe, and wondering why Sirius was making him go through this.

Sirius sighed and flopped a hand carelessly over the side of the armchair. "We always talk about me, Moony. Let's talk about you."

"Me?" asked Remus, baffled. What was there to talk about? _Being in love with you,_ said the quiet voice inside Remus's head, but he balked, shoving away the thought. He would never ruin his friendship with Sirius and tell him how he felt. The friendship was far too precious. Sirius was as straight as an arrow – just look at all the girls he had been through – and besides, even if he had been gay, why would he be interested in Remus? _I'm a werewolf_, _and I'm utterly boring and uninteresting to look at_, he told himself forcefully.

_But he learned how to become an animagus for you_, insisted a different voice. _And he talks to you all the time..._

"There's nothing interesting about me to talk about," said Remus quickly, mostly to shut up the voices in his head.

"So secretive," said Sirius fondly, lazily looking over at him. "Don't you have a girl hidden in one of your books somewhere? What was your first kiss like?"

"Ihavenbenkissed," muttered Remus quickly, and Sirius turned to look at him.

"What?"

Remus took a deep breath, his face flaming. "I haven't been kissed before, Padfoot."

"Oh."

There was a pause. Sirius was studying him intently, and Remus squirmed under his gaze. Then Sirius looked away. "Yeah, reckon you would of told us if you had, anyways. So why not?"

_Because I'm gay,_ thought Remus, slightly annoyed. Then he realized Sirius was probably just trying to be friendly (in the nosy sort of way that best friends were allowed to be) and that being gay was no excuse. There were definitely other gay students at Hogwarts. Remus knew that it was because he never had eyes for anyone but Sirius; but he couldn't tell Sirius that. He'd have to say something else.

"Because I'm trying to see how old I can get to be before I get kissed," he said, sarcasm coloring his words. "I reckon if I get old enough I can tell my kids and embarrass them at how rubbish I was at romance." He sounded a little bitterer than he intended, and then he realized why. Without meaning to he spoke out loud, softly saying, "Assuming I have kids, that is. I probably can't, because Merlin knows what kind of messed up furry little problems my kids would have."

Sirius was looking at him again, but his face was much closer this time, and Remus could see the exact shade of grey that made up his eyes. His heartbeat stuttered for a minute and then kicked back into start, ramping up his breathing. Remus started to say something, but before the words got out Sirius had captured them, pressing his rough lips to Remus's, and then Remus wasn't breathing at all, just pressing his lips against the other boy's. Sirius tasted like the night and like raspberry licorice, and Remus reveled in the way their lips brushed and pulled against each other, and the way explosions tingled up and down his nerves, making him shiver and melting him even closer into Sirius. Then it was over and Sirius pulled away, meeting Remus's eyes for a fleeting second before darting away to the fire, a rising pink flushing over his face.

"What..." started Remus, but then he had to stop to take a deep breath and settle himself, and stop himself from reaching out to grab Sirius and kiss him again and again. "What was that for?"

He answered without turning to look at Remus, the pink on his cheeks and neck burning into a red. "I – I just thought," stammered Sirius, sounding utterly unlike his cocky self. Perhaps Sirius realized this too because he pulled himself together, forcing himself to look over at Remus. "You shouldn't wait too long for your first kiss, Moony. Don't lie to your kids and tell them you were rubbish at romance." Sirius managed a crooked smile, and Remus's heart ached a little, this time with happiness. "You're going to be an excellent father," promised Sirius softly.

Remus couldn't stop the soft smile that blossomed onto his face, and he felt utterly swept off his feet. Sirius really was a romantic, the wanker. Remus wondered if he had even ever been into girls at all, but then decided there were more important things to worry about.

"Are you seducing me?" Remus asked carefully, after a few moments of letting his happiness simmer inside of him.

"What gave it away?"

Remus didn't speak, instead answering Sirius with his mouth, leaning forward to taste more of Sirius, his insides brimming with happiness.

"I think I _am_ going to break up with Hannah," said Sirius decidedly, breaking off the kiss and grinning at Remus. And Remus smiled back, taking hold of Sirius's hand and pulling him out of the chair and up towards the winding staircase to where their slumbering friends innocently waited.

"Don't hurt the poor girl's feelings," Remus said sleepily, his mouth twisting into a smile. "It's not her fault that she's a Ravenclaw."

Sirius considered this. "True," he allowed. "But it _is_ her fault that she isn't you,"

And with that, they vanished upstairs, finally where they belonged – with each other – at last.


End file.
